The free write. Writing is hard. The writing life is hard.

I don’t give a shit. Suck it up.

You want to improve your skills? Do a free write.

What’s a free write? You pick a setting, an obstacle and/or an object, and a goal. Setting: Mars. Object: A bloody copper key. Obstacle: Getting past guards into space station. Goal: To stop the villain from kidnapping fourteen-year old girl.

Or

Your hometown, a pink vibrator, getting back with an old boyfriend, solving a murder and putting the murderer in jail.

You get it.

Write for eight minutes. Non-stop. No editing. Don’t think too much. Just do it.

Even if you’re not a “real writer” try this exercise. Why? Because it’s a good way to calm down, express creativity, stretch brain cells, and have fun. Really.

It’s where you mine for gems. It’s scales to the musician. Stretches to the runner. Bicep curls to the bodybuilder. Sketches to the painter.

If you think it’s a waste of time, you’ve never done it.

Yes, romance is great, sex is great, erotica is great, blow jobs are great.

But sometimes it’s good to expand your horizons and do something you don’t usually do. It’s easy to sit back and watch TV or read someone else’s work. It’s daunting to think about writing a 400 page novel. Committing to eight minutes means you are sitting down and doing something right now.

Simple.

Life is grand, isn’t it?